Beyond ‘Just Breathe’: Learning Skills and Building Strength Through TF-CBT

Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is an evidence based treatment for PTSD that takes at least 12-16 sessions. In TF-CBT, you’ll learn practical tools like calming breathing exercises, how to interrupt spiraling thoughts, and how to gradually face and reprocess your trauma story in a safe way. It blends cognitive-behavioral techniques with trauma-sensitive practices to ease symptoms, improve emotional regulation, and strengthen your coping skills. TF-CBT has been rigorously studied and, along with EMDR, is one of the most effective treatments for childhood trauma and related emotional or behavioral challenges.

It’s normal to feel skeptical about skills like deep breathing. When you’ve been through intense pain, it can feel almost insulting to be told, “just breathe.” A few deep breaths won’t erase the trauma. But slow, steady breathing can calm your nervous system, stimulate the vagus nerve, and help you step out of fight-or-flight mode — even if only for a moment. This is for you, not to make anyone else more comfortable. One gentle way to practice is to lie down and place a pillow or stuffed animal on your belly and watch it rise and fall as you breathe slowly.

Trauma therapy is tough. Some weeks you may dread going, because it can be hard to revisit painful memories you’ve worked so hard to move past. That’s completely normal. But the process can also help you gain empathy for yourself and others, and teach you new ways of responding to stress.

It’s also important to remember: having a trauma reaction to what happened to you does not mean you’re weak, and it doesn’t make the people involved automatically “bad.” Often, they were struggling with their own pain. We can have empathy for the reasons they acted in ways that harmed us, while also holding them accountable for that harm. You’re allowed to feel upset about what you went through, and you’re allowed to heal at your own pace. As your nervous system starts to feel safer, therapy can help you feel steadier, more confident in your coping skills, and better able to handle life’s ups and downs.