Excerpt from EMDR: Hate to Love It, Love to Hate It
Originally written in 2016
EMDR is exhausting for both the practitioner and the client; both parties must simultaneously attend to strong emotions, images of past experiences, cognitive distortions and replacement cognitions, and physical sensations, all while remaining in the present moment and not trying to process anything in words. During and between sets, the client is directed to “go with that and let whatever happens, happen.” EMDR generates new insight for clients even though there is no verbal processing with the therapist in between sets.
My belief is that EMDR is effective because its eclectic approach is still systematic, so the client experiences multiple simultaneous interventions which provide both skills and insight. I have not allowed my therapist to conduct much EMDR with me because I do not want to reexperience the painful memories and their overwhelming emotions. Through EMDR, I have had to accept that I am not yet ready or willing to let go of some past experiences and the feelings or beliefs associated with them. Even this realization helped me experience peace and acceptance that I do have needs that are being met by continuing to feel anger, fear, or sadness. By allowing myself to feel that pain, I have eventually been able to return to some of these memories for processing in EMDR. I have also noticed that by acknowledging the root of my current dysfunction, I have been able to change my behavior in the present without undergoing the emotional sucker-punch of an EMDR session.
Prior to engaging in therapy, I was losing my temper a lot, but was not very consciously aware that I was feeling anger or frustration building. Through my therapist’s prompts to report on what I’m feeling in my body, I have learned to recognize my emotions building in my body before they escalated into a full rage. I have also been better able to regulate my emotions by releasing my jaw or focusing on breathing. It has also been interesting to note the connection between clenching my teeth and holding back expressing myself on topics or in situations about which I have strong feelings. I am noticing that when my behavior is incongruent with my values, I become emotionally dysregulated. Even without consistently experiencing all 8 phases of EMDR therapy, I believe I have made significant progress on my treatment plan. Beyond the benefits of reprocessing past experiences, the tools of mindfulness, acceptance, and cognitive behavioral approaches can be used to monitor and inform current behaviors and interactions.
